Missing Life

Steve Jobs just died. One guy in many thousands of deaths and we find out about him because of his amazing accomplishments that have impacted our lives. I do not personally know Steve. Most of us didn't have an opportunity to know this eccentric guy, but after he died, I had a wake up call. I've been miserable since I arrived back home July 9 with migraines, nausea, and never-ending exhaustion. I saw whole days disappear and my creativity dried up. I was frustrated and upset that as a do-er, I could only be a sitter. Or better, a layer-downer. I know, that's not a word, but for so many weeks I was forced to lay down or throw up. Lay down or have a headache. I hated it!

Then I changed my attitude. It's not because of Steve Job's passing, but it coincided with it. I realized that I had to think in terms of minutes, not hours or days. If I had a good 15 minutes of no headaches or nausea, I prioritized and did the things that mattered the most to me. Read to my kids, snuggle with them, listen to my teenager, talk to my Mom, watch t.v. with my husband...all those other things could wait. Sure, it was very hard at first to change my habits and I fought the entire way when I watched piles of messes grow, but there were no other options. It was not easy. In fact, to tell a person who is type A to become type C is murder.

But, I survived! And now, I use the minutes of feeling good to the best of my ability and am more content. I don't like only have minutes each day, but at least I have those. Steve Jobs no longer has those minutes. I have minutes.

I'm no longer missing life!